2000-08-16 - 06:03:05

So all has been going well for Shannon. Shannon got the job, She's moving out soon, she's in a good relationship, she's been all mushy-close to Katie, she's been getting along somewhat decently with the parents, she's been able to have a good time with Dave... So yeah, things have been going really well and looking up in Shannon's life.

Of course, something went wrong today.

Making a right hand turn, the radio goes out on her... then her car starts Poot-poot-pooting. Then Shannon tries to honk and it sounds like a dying bison or something is under her hood. (Rooorrrrraaaahhhh.... roooorrrrraaahhhhhh...) So Shannon takes it home. And now it won't start.

Shannon needs a new alternator.

Shannon is upset at Jamaica right now.

Shannon was supposed to go on a road trip this weekend.

Shannon wants a PT Cruiser. Jamaica is mad at Shannon so is getting his revenge on her this way.

"Fuck you!" Jamaica says! "You like dat PT Cruiser bettah den me! Fuck you and your road trippin'. I will not start be startin' for you now, mon! I WILL NOT BE STARTIN'!!!"

Just like that he said it. So Shannon kicked Jamaica right in the bumper. So now he's really mad. But Daddy has a battery charger stuffed into Jamaica's mouth. "Fuck *you*, Jamaica," Shannon says. "I'll take you to the doctor and have you FIXED! FIXED, I SAY!"

Jamaica won' be givin' Shannon none more o' dat lip.

Mon.

So now Shannon's Visa card is ever so slowly, ever so stealthy, creeping deeper and deeper yet into Shannon's wallet. Sorry, Visa. She tried.

So who's gonna start a "Let's get Shannon a PT Cruiser" fund? C'mon, guys. It's a good cause. Then Shannon can REALLY say fuck you, Jamaica. And she'll call her PT cruiser Throckmorton. Or like, Jeeves or something.

visit http://www.shannon_needs_a_PTCruiser.com or call 1-888-Cruiser-now. She takes check, money order...

And visa.